Deconditioning. What does it mean? Why is it important?
Deconditioning. What does it mean? And why is it important?
In general terms, conditioning is a process of training or accustoming a person to behave in a certain way or to accept certain circumstances.
Deconditioning, on the other hand, refers to dismantling our automatic conditioned responses and habitual patterns of thinking, speaking, and being that no longer serve and may even be harmful to our wellbeing. I’d go as far to say that any deconditioning work a person does is part of the process of Self-discovery and Self-creation because so many of us are often on autopilot and not really bringing our full attention and awareness to what we think, say, do, and feel. When we operate in that automatic way, it is difficult to make the changes that we desperately desire (or need) to make in our lives.
Deconditioning is part of the work I do with clients. I came to my own work of deconditioning by means of illness. I wasn’t taught to listen to my inner voice of wisdom or to listen to my body. When dis-ease manifested within me, I knew I needed to make some drastic changes in my life, I just didn’t know where to start. After months of exploring my need for a new lifestyle, I decided to leave my corporate 8-4 position and jump into the void of the unknown. This was extremely scary to say the least. I had an intention of the kind of work that I wanted to be doing in the world and I knew I needed to make the shift, but then doubt would creep in and I would question myself and hesitate. I knew I wasn’t well on any level of my being, but I was “supposed” to have a full-time job, with insurance, and retirement, etc. Why would I leave the security of this and not have a clue about what was to come next?
The questions were constant. But there was this deeper part of me that knew exactly what I was doing. And if I could just stay in touch with that deeper part of me as I moved through that time and space, I knew she would guide me to where I needed to be. And she did! And it was exciting, and scary, and amazing, and challenging. It was all of it. It still is, for goodness sake. I still find myself going through the deconditioning process, whether it be around what my work week looks compared to societal norms or reestablishing my relationship with/faith in God from some distant, male, judgmental figure off in some heavenly realm that I developed in childhood to one of complete benevolence, acceptance, and love within me and around me at all times. I’ll never get it all right and I’ll never get it all done, as it’s all just part of the journey, but what I am emphasizing is that we are not a one size fits all. We are each uniquely made, each with our own inner compass that is guiding us ALL of the time if we only have the courage to get still and listen to what our inner voice of wisdom has to say. The world will not stop being loud. It will not stop it’s incessant call for you to do this, or to think that, or to be this. And I don’t know that it’s supposed to. But I do know that you have a choice in the matter.
I invite you to pause and become curious with yourself. Pose a few of these questions to yourself and see what desires to be heard from within.
How often do I find myself behaving in ways and/or accepting circumstances that I actually desire to move away from?
When I have chosen to operate in a new way, how did I feel? // How did others receive my new way of being?
Is there something that I currently desire to decondition from at this time?
What is holding me back from making those necessary shifts?
Am I willing to open myself up to the possibility of my life changing for the better?
Wherever you find yourself on your life’s journey, I hope you are well, feeling at peace, and listening to and trusting the still, small voice within. You do know the way!
🤍,
Kristy